Pivot or don't. Accept that what you think is the "correct" path forward isn't always going to work for you. Fight for yourself. Fight to break out. Keep going.
Gosh, Matt, you've already come to some realizations at 35 that have only dawned on me recently at 65. And you've made some important progress in shaping a more comfortable future for yourself. About six months or so ago, I stuck these quotes on my fridge, to remind myself about my journey in a helpful and supportive way: "I've come this far and I want to see what happens when I don't give up" and "If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude." - Colin Powell. From your "Letting the love in" it sounds like you really get it. Improvement is not about deprivation or extremism or being perfect but rather about a series of small changes sustained over time.
Gosh, Matt, you've already come to some realizations at 35 that have only dawned on me recently at 65. And you've made some important progress in shaping a more comfortable future for yourself. About six months or so ago, I stuck these quotes on my fridge, to remind myself about my journey in a helpful and supportive way: "I've come this far and I want to see what happens when I don't give up" and "If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude." - Colin Powell. From your "Letting the love in" it sounds like you really get it. Improvement is not about deprivation or extremism or being perfect but rather about a series of small changes sustained over time.